17

You take some time to compose yourself and then go to the manor’s servants’ entrance. The majordomo answers.

“Please tell his lordship that I have had an extremely interesting series of ideas, and I must speak with him,” you implore.

It’s not unheard of for the water dragon in a lord’s garden to ask for an audience on occasion, and your relationship with Lord Inen is closer than most. Still, it surprises you when he meets you in person at the door. “What is it, Modi?”

You bow formally. “My lord, I don’t wish to tax your felicity of belief, yet I must tell you this. Not ten minutes ago, I had the fortune to receive a flash of divine inspiration.”

“What…genuine divine inspiration?”

“Precisely, my lord. Or to be more precise, memories. Recovered memories from a time when I did not walk the earth, but rested instead in the presence of our Creator.” You look him straight in the eyes. “I am not jesting.”

He examines you with renewed concern. You fear the worst, but his voice is compassionate and confidential. “Come up to my chambers, Modi, and we’ll discuss it.”

Gratefully, you enlist a footman’s help in carrying you upstairs and accompany Lord Inen to his personal suite. Seeing that a bath is being drawn for one of his daughters, he instructs the porter to fill a basin in his own solarium for you. The chance to indulge in a hot bath is rare. You settle in graciously, with the sun streaming through the angular picture windows, and Lord Inen shuts the doors and sits before you.

“Divine inspiration, Modi?” he asks. “As I recall, when we last spoke on the subject of religion you were markedly agnostic.”

“No more, my lord.” The broad implications are beginning to hit you. “I no longer can harbor any doubt about the existence and goodness of our Creator, who plants a living soul into every worthy vessel. I’m still unsure whether Creator creates everything in existence, or only souls…but that, I think, is beside the point.”

“Was your experience so vivid?” the man asks, getting down on his knees.

“It was,” you insist. You then relate to him all you can—the feeling of unattached being, the choices, the quest. He takes it all in respectfully, occasionally warming his fingers by swishing them through the bubbling foam.

“The truth is, Modi,” he confides, “that I was never so convinced of Creator’s existence as you appear to be right now.”

“But my lord,” you say, planting your forefeet on the basin’s edge, “Creator is real, and I have been charged with a divine quest! And I have no idea how to proceed. While I appreciate all the amenities you allow me, the fact is, I…well, I feel I have more or less reached the limits of what I can comprehend while spending all my time here on your estate.”

“What, then, do you intend?”

“I don’t know, my lord. I am content here, but apparently contentment is not my lot. I could enter politics, perhaps. “

“Politics!” He plants one foot on the floor beside his knee. “I don’t know about that. I’d be hard-pressed to introduce you into the political sphere, given your lack of experience and the way things are going nowadays. But is that really where your best chances lie?”

You bow, slipping back into the bubbling water. “I don’t know. How does one even begin searching for the ultimate goal of existence? The question confounds me.”

“And me,” Lord Inen replies. “It may be that the answer lies wholly within yourself…as, indeed, I think we should admit this entire experience may, as well.”

“My lord?” You speak quietly. “Do you mean to say…that you don’t necessarily believe me? In the authenticity of my experience?”

“Modi.” Lord Inen seems to be having trouble formulating his words. “I cannot possibly know, Modi. I was not inside your mind half an hour ago. I can only leave it to you to judge the import of this event. If I can be of use in aiding your decisions and guiding your future, then I would like to do so. I simply can’t know whether it was real.”

You were hoping to have accumulated more trust from your liege over the years, but his attitude is hardly surprising. “All right, then. Even if the possibility remains that I am deluded…is there any advice you might offer? Any starting point you might recommend? You know I respect your intellect greatly.”

He gives the matter serious thought, but seems to come up short. “This is a matter for the philosophers, Modi. Philosophers and artists. I suppose I could look for a philosopher to come and work with you...the tale of your inspiration might attract someone to the job. Or if you must, I could involve you somehow in my next political assignment. But nothing seems perfectly fitting, and for that, I’m sorry.”

You stand up, leaving only your feet in the water. You’ve come to a decision.

“You mentioned artists, my lord. I have little use for philosophy, but if the same objectives can be approached through art, I should like to give that a try.” Section 15.

“The more I think on it, my lord, the more it seems that familiarizing myself with imperial politics would be pertinent to my quest.” Section 23.

“My lord, if you are indeed willing to find someone trained in the field of philosophy to work with me, I’ll gladly accept the offer. It could bear great fruit.” Section 25.

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