The Elements of Harmony

Thorin N. Tatge

To "Still Alive" from Portal, by Jonathan Coulton

Dear Princess Celestia:

I'm writing a note of my success.

I've identified the elements of friendship!

Friendship is Magic!

It's also a bunch of other stuff.

But once you hit the magic,

Science kind of curls up and dies. :-(

So I moved to Ponyville to try a new tack

With a baby dragon who could pick up my slack

And I'm happy to report

That we've managed now to sort

Out the Elements of Harmony!

Let's start out with kindness!

You can go crazy being kind.

Everyone has their own needs to deal with!

Take my friend Rainbow:

Her ego needs stroking twice a day.

More refined is Rarity;

She needs it pampered instead.

Then there's generosity, which means that you give

Everything you've got until you feel like a sieve

All that's left 'til it's returned

Is a feeling you've been burned

By the Elements of Harmony!

And then you have laughter.

That's oddly psychotic, don't you think?

How can we decide which friend to laugh at?

Just watch who's not laughing!

Whoever laughs last gets laughed at most!

Fluttershy would blush, but then

We all could laugh at her too.

Then there's good old honesty, which means you don't lie

Like the cake I said that I would give Pinkie Pie.

Or that Applejack could rest

After forty-seven tests

Of the Elements of Harmony!

And then the final one is loyalty!

Like how you love all your friends equally!

Or how you still enjoy watching G3!

So there they are in their entirety:

These are the Elements of Harmony!

Harmony!

Signed, me.