Crittersweet

By Thorin N. Tatge

(To “Just the Girl” by The Click Five)

She's cold but she's hot when her blood starts to brewin'

She lived in the pool at our last school reunion

She spams up my dreams with her telepath laughter

Strange as it seems, she's the one I'm after!

Cause she's bittersweet; she's got fourteen feet

And a radio antenna in the middle of her head.

She's a mystery; she snores poetry.

Though it frightens me to the core…

She's just the girl I'm lookin' for.

She does all her make-up with scarabs and flour

She runs on 100 proof peach-liquor power

And the more she ignites me the more I adore her

What can I do? She's a lovable horror!

Cause she's bittersweet; she's got fourteen feet

And her dorsal plates sound like a xylophone

She once let me play “Warning” by Green Day

Then she dumped me onto the floor…

But she's just the girl I'm lookin' for.

And when I come around

And stimulate her ultrasound

She repeats what she’s heard

And tells it back to me backward

So that when I go to bed

Every word I’ve ever said

Is still ringin' in my head

Head my in ringin’ still!

She talks to the rocks with the geo professor

Knows just what to say, and then, out comes the pressure!

Cause she's bittersweet; she’s got fourteen feet

And a bifurcate tail with which she mixes her drinks.

I don’t know if she cares at all for me

But I keep comin' back for more,

And it still seems that, to my horror…

She’s just the girl I’m looking for.

Just the girl I'm lookin' for.

Just the girl I'm lookin' for.