THE OTHER CHRISTMAS SONG

by Thorin

Chestnuts boasting on an open forum,

Jack Frost nipping off your toes,

Yuletide beans carried off by a choir,

And storks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey stuffed with mistletoe,

Helps to mark the season's blight.

Tater tots with their eyes all aglow,

Will make it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;

He's loaded lots of little gremlins on his sleigh.

And every mother's cousin's spouse's brother's child is going to spy,

To see if reindeer really know how to cry.

And so I'm offering this satanic phrase,

To kids ranging in age from twelve months to one thousand one hundred and four.

Although its been said sixty times, sixty ways,

Merry Christmas to you fnord.